Seriously, I have no idea how I wound up stuck with these people. I mean, I do. But, damn, I'm a fool for staying with 'em. OK, sure, I wasn't going to let a goblin horde eat some village kids at a fair. I mean, come on, what sort of guy would just let some goblin maul a kid who five minutes ago was enjoying some spiced potatoes and waiting for some loud fireworks? Was I going to just shrug and say, "Not my town, not my problem?" No, of course not. I mean, yeah, a lot of people would've. Most people, probably. But, then again, a lot of people are assholes. But, a lot of people are decent. My companions, as annoying as they are? They're decent. So, we lent a hand. Would I rather have been taking down giants instead of goblins? Sure. But, sometimes, life works that way. Ask my folks.
It doesn't mean, though, that I'm going to start doing the job that the Guard should be doing. Me? I'm enjoying the free comfortable room and the occasional complimentary beverage. I don't need no shrine dedicated to me. When I've overstayed my welcome, I'll leave My companions? Yeah, they're decent, but, man, they're too decent. All these people keep coming out of the woodwork wanting the "heroes'" help. Want us to find everyone's lost dog and solve everyone's old family mystery. Of course, the place sure does seem to have a lot of mysteries for a small town. Take that Ameiko girl or however you spell her name. Her old man is crazy. Burst into the place screaming about us interfering in the Guard's work. Told 'im that the Guard clearly wasn't doing its work if we had to take down the goblins ourselves, but old man is more the ranty, rather than the listening, type. The kid thinks that he was behind the goblin attack, but I just don't see the connection, Guy just doesn't like adventurers. Lots of folk don't. Makes sense, particularly if you've got a hot daughter who you'd prefer not consorting with guys like Garridan and running her own inn. Can't say I blame him, exactly. But, given that his manor isn't overrun with goblins right now, also could've been a bit more respectful. Crossed a line when he started abusing Ameiko. She's been good to us, so we were all a bit peeved when he got in her face, screaming in that language of his that even the kid doesn't speak. All thought that we were gonna have to step in, but girl can handle herself. (The fact that Garridan hasn't managed to sleep with her yet proves that.) Sent 'em packing with a ladle to the head.
Anyway, the woman who came in after that certainly couldn't handle herself. Crying about her asshole of a husband screaming at her kid or something. Goblins in the closet. I felt like we should leave well enough alone, but the kid decides we're some sort of investigators or something and offered to help. Of course, I'm the one who had a crazed-ass goblin leap from a closet at him, so I feel like I should start getting more votes in these matters. I mean, sure, I felt bad for the woman, but, seriously, you have too many goblins jump from a closet at you, one of 'em is going to get lucky and land a blow to the head that ends you. I just feel like we should be a little more, I don't know, choosy when deciding who to help. (I don't know even know why I'm talking about a "we." Obviously 'ave been hit in the head by too many goblins already.) But, no. We're just here to help. When the sheriff asks you to just stroll around town like you own the place so people feel safe, do you ask him to pitch in something for the trouble? Apparently not. (I'm not asking for, like, the keys to the town's vault or anything, but a tab at a place not forcing me to eat kippers three times a day wouldn't hurt. Maybe he could just dock the Guard's pay since it's clearly not doing anything all day.) But, no, kid wants us to be heroes. (Garridan just likes the ladies' attention. Signe just likes the free food. At least those two motivations make some sense to me. Kid, though. Delusions of grandeur.)
Of course, now, we're going to go look into Ameiko disappearing. Sure, besides the kippers, she's down right by us, as I said. But, anyone meeting some mysterious half-brother at glass factory at midnight? They're asking for trouble, in my book. But, here we go, asking right along with her. That's the kid at the door. Gozreh only knows where tonight's gonna go.
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